Stinks

Keith: "Smell my feet."
Kim: "No."
Keith: "Smell my feet. If you love me you would smell my feet."
Kim: "No. I could smell your feet yesterday while sitting on the couch."
Keith: "I have to smell your poop. Smell my feet."
Kim: "I have to smell your poop."
Keith: "Your poop stiiinks."
Kim: "I have to smell your feet, your poop, your farts, your burps and your armpits. Yo, your armpits stink."
Keith: "Your poop smells so bad the paint in the bathroom is peeling off."
The paint is so not peeling off.

Big Mr. Meany Pants

This is what happens when you ignore your woman (she spends your $).

Little Miss Meany Pants

This is what you are when you ignore your man.

Weird Phrases at work

After reading my cousin Lisa's blog, I have been inspired to tell you of my classroom posters.

Lisa wrote about being a mean mommy bc she makes her kids do things they dont want to. Wear long sleeves, finish your food, wear socks, yadda yadda yadda. I commented that it is great, and in the long run, it will continue to help her out, and their teachers.

For instance I would not need to post: Keep your limbs to yourself. Yes, in high school they still hit and kick each other.

Another famous poster: Keep the beat in your head, not in your hands. It drives me nuts when they continuously bang beats on the desks.

This one is great: The easiest question asked: Name:___________ Don't leave it blank. I was really tired of getting no name papers. I have 120 kids!!! I'm not wasting my time trying to analyze hand writing samples.

I think this is my favorite: Keep it G Rated: Intended for all Audiences. I cringe when I hear LaShrikra kissed LaShina or Qudedadu was too drunk/high to get it up with that jawn. Not too mention fowl language. (Names were totally made up)

I am also gifted in making Geometry posters.

"Don't disrespect the figure, call it by name!" Too often, my kids call a line just by its letters. But that does not work bc a two letter figure could be a line, a ray, a line segment.

This is my latest and I think it is the best:
First comes love
(rhombus hearts rectangle)
Then comes marriage
(rhombus ring rectangle, both say "I Do")
Then comes baby in the baby carriage
(Square)

It helps them remember that a square is a rhombus and a rectangle. But a rhombus is not a square, nor is a rectangle a square. I'll take pictures tomorrow.

So Lisa, keep it up!

Updates

We had Valentine's Day on Friday... the 13th. I got Keith a monkey card, of course. And some Twizzlers. I got roses and a box of choc-o-lots, yummy.

Saturday, I got my hair trimed, bought the stupid 2 cent stamps. Keith bought a 10 foot boat with his prize money from school. We went out to eat lunch and then did some shopping.

Sunday I started reading the last book of Twilight. This one is over 700 pages. Basically we chilled in the house. Keith "cleaned" his desk. I swear he has all these little thing a ma gigs that he doesn't really clean, he just plays with the stuff.

Monday Keith got another cold. He is irritable. But he loves being "babied". "Wake me in 30 minutes, wake me for the Bachelor." I think I'm bringing germs home, but I'm just immune to them by now. I still Lysol the kids' desks everyday anyway.

I stayed home bc school was closed. So I worked on the invitations and watched some movies that were still in the shrink wrap. Here's a bad idea... Watch "P.S. I Love You" while working on your wedding invitations. I cried the entire movie!!!

Today Keith is still a bit sick. He is zonked on the couch. He drove around a lot today in the company truck running things here and there. I had an inservice where I presented information on co-teaching with my co-teacher. I was trained for 8 hours on it, and had to regurgitate it to 30 faculty in 30 minutes. We then went to Keith's mom's for pizza, Katie time, and Abby time. Abby hit me and was put in time out. She was stubborn about saying sorry to me... but she got around to giving me a kiss in forgiveness.

Unfortunately, no weird phrases to report. Just the typical "Kim is a monkey."

Oh wait, I did get Abby to pet Keith on the head a bunch of times. That was funny!

Darn Stamps

Grrrrr. Both Keith and my mom had to ask. "Do you think stamps are going to increase?" I said nah. And what do you know... THEY ARE.

Last weekend I bought "wedding stamps" for the response cards. Then my mom sent me an article yesterday saying that stamps are increasing two cents starting May 11. Two problems with that: 1. I did put the 42 cent wedding stamps on the response envelopes already which means I now need to add an ugly two cent stamp to it because our deadline is June 15. And 2. even if I waited til May 11, that would be too late to send out invitations. Grrrr. Sorry everyone, but it won't be as pretty as I had wanted.

Twilight

Ok. I am sucked into the vampire phenomena. I am engrossed in the Twilight series. Keith's mom read the first two and said I had to read it. After finishing two other novels, I picked it up. Four days later, and nearly 500 pages I finished it and moved to the next. 563 pages later, in two days, I moving to third. This is crazy!

It's Girl Scout Cookie Time

I was just asking my boss Friday if anyone in the building was selling Girl Scout Cookies. No such luck. All she could do was complain that they were everywhere she went the previous weekend. Keith and I did a little shopping Saturday and I was happy to see that a Junior Girl Scout, around 13 years old, was sitting outside the KMart. I had mentioned to Keith that its harder for the older Girl Scouts because they are not as cute as the younger ones. Wondering how I would know, I tried to remind I was a Girl Scout for 7 years. So we walked by on our way in and the girl asked, "Would you like to buy some Girl Scout Cookies?" I replied that I would when we came out. "I love Samoas." I did exactly that when we left the store. I ordered Samoas, Tagalongs, and Thin Mints. The girl scout was a little shaking when I asked for the Tagalongs but I pointed to them and she put them in a bag. In the car, I took a look and realized that the names were changed. Samoas are now Carmel Delights, and Tagalongs are Peanut Butter Somethings. Thin Mints are still Thin Mints. The mom of the girl must have been surprised at my request with the old names, but was able to translate my order. I guess I'm showing some age.

Abby and Cheese Curls

We went over Aunt Connie's tonight to see Abby for a few minutes before we went out to dinner. Abby was really good, immediately giving Uncle Keith and Aunt Kimmie hugs and kisses. At one point I was playing ball with her and she pegged me directly in the face and glasses. At another point, she was eating cheese curls and decided to share with Keith and I. I was impressed she wanted to share new cheese curls with us, not the ones that she was sucking on herself. So she fed us a couple of times. Then she decided to sit in my lap and watch TV. When she got up, she used my arm, which was wearing a white sweater, as a support. Needless to say, I then had a child size cheese curl hand print on my white sweater. I started to brush it off, and then Abby tried to help by doing the same, but actually added more. Oh well. I still love her. I just have to file this away and use it in a few years.

Hot Water

Setting: Keith comes home from work, Kim is just out of the shower.

Keith: "Is there any hot water left?"
Kim: "Ummm, no."
Keith: "C'mon babe."
Kim: "At least my legs are shaved."

Ring Pillow

Originally, I had wanted to make the flower girl basket and the ring bearer pillow. I continued to run into a brick wall with the basket and when I found one that I like I totally gave up on it. But not the ring pillow. So I went to Joanne Fabrics bought a pretty ivory satin and an eggplant sheer material. I must say, I am really proud of myself.

The first is just a quilt like stitch on the satin. The next has clear and purple beading at the intersection of the quilt stitch. Then I added a bow with a flower and a ruffle of the sheer eggplant material. The last is the final product. Please mind the photo layout; they kept moving out of order.